is this what I get for "going out" on a wednesday night??
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Any chance you could make room for mommy??
is this what I get for "going out" on a wednesday night??
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Underpants!!!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Dear my sweet son,
4:30am is NOT morning. the sun is sleeping. mommy is sleeping. daddy is sleeping. the dogs and your sister are sleeping. you NEED to be sleeping as well. we CANNOT continue to get up, get you milk and a cereal bar and turn on the tv all before 4:32 am. really, this is not working out. Please reconsider, for the sake of your family's sanity....and NO you still cannot see my boobies even IF you say "peese."
Love, mama
4:30am is NOT morning. the sun is sleeping. mommy is sleeping. daddy is sleeping. the dogs and your sister are sleeping. you NEED to be sleeping as well. we CANNOT continue to get up, get you milk and a cereal bar and turn on the tv all before 4:32 am. really, this is not working out. Please reconsider, for the sake of your family's sanity....and NO you still cannot see my boobies even IF you say "peese."
Love, mama
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
On Boys:
I am convinced that when the nurse whisks away the boys to be circumcised not only are they having their penis' altered (I know, I know, I'm sorry...please don't hate me) they are hooking them up to some kind of "boy machine." It has to be. How else does my 2-year old know what a jeep is (yes, the real kind, the wrangler--JEEP! JEEP!), make vrroom sounds while pushing a matchbox car (or really anything for that matter), picks up sticks and says pew-pew, pow-pow, shoot!, says things like "me have pee-pee" "haha, me tooted on you mommy!" "me see mama's boobies??" "Look, mama, a concrete mixer!!"..........I'm assuming the Boy Machine has levels, like Kinda Boyish with an occasional cry, Pure Boy who still loves his Mama, and All Marine Complete with Tattoo. For those that weren't circ'd, maybe they got 'plugged in' when they do that hearing test (how the heck can you test a 2 day old's hearing anyhow...they don't stop crying long enough to listen)...."Mama! me touch my poopie!" boys. ahem. ...and for the record, NO, you CANNOT see mama's boobies. sorry dude.
Monday, November 17, 2008
On Death Part III:
e: Mom, I just don't get it.
e: I just don't get it.
m: get what honey?
e: I don't get it. when people die, how do they get to the church?
m: It's really pretty hard to understand. Basically, they die someplace...at a hospital or at their house, and a car takes them to the church, then to the cemetery where they bury the person's body in the ground....but the person's heart, their brain...their "person" goes to heaven to be with jesus (I myself have some rational doubts about this, but feel that I should lead my child in some direction)
e: but how does the person get to the church?
m: in the car that drives people who are dead to the places they need to go
e: so, does the car do anything else beside driving dead people?
m: no, that's its' only job.
e: what do they call that kind of car?
m: it's called a hearse.
e: oh....ok.
on death part 1, on death part 2
e: I just don't get it.
m: get what honey?
e: I don't get it. when people die, how do they get to the church?
m: It's really pretty hard to understand. Basically, they die someplace...at a hospital or at their house, and a car takes them to the church, then to the cemetery where they bury the person's body in the ground....but the person's heart, their brain...their "person" goes to heaven to be with jesus (I myself have some rational doubts about this, but feel that I should lead my child in some direction)
e: but how does the person get to the church?
m: in the car that drives people who are dead to the places they need to go
e: so, does the car do anything else beside driving dead people?
m: no, that's its' only job.
e: what do they call that kind of car?
m: it's called a hearse.
e: oh....ok.
on death part 1, on death part 2
Thursday, November 13, 2008
On Physical Education:
Dear Ella's Psychotic Mom,
Your daughter needs tennis shoes in order for her to participate in P.E. class. School has been in session for nearly three months now, she has been coming to my class with out shoes twice each week....can you get your crap together and send her in some appropriate footwear?
Sincerely,
P.E. Teacher
Dear P.E. Teacher,
First off, could you send one of those square scooters home with Ella? Aside from occasionally running over my fingers--I just loved those things and would really enjoy riding one down my street. As for the shoes, here's the deal: my daughter is lying. She has had a perfectly appropriate pair of tennis shoes in her locker since day one. She has a thing about shoes....and socks....and jeans....and ponytails....and crumply papers.....among a slew of other things. She doesn't like the tennis shoes because they are "not beautiful." I too, don't think they are very beautiful, so I can't blame her. We've talked about the situation and she has "promised" me she'll remember that she, in fact, does have gym shoes and socks. Please let me know if the shoes still don't make it to class, I can look into adding sequins or glitter to them, that might help.
Sincerely,
That Mom.
Your daughter needs tennis shoes in order for her to participate in P.E. class. School has been in session for nearly three months now, she has been coming to my class with out shoes twice each week....can you get your crap together and send her in some appropriate footwear?
Sincerely,
P.E. Teacher
Dear P.E. Teacher,
First off, could you send one of those square scooters home with Ella? Aside from occasionally running over my fingers--I just loved those things and would really enjoy riding one down my street. As for the shoes, here's the deal: my daughter is lying. She has had a perfectly appropriate pair of tennis shoes in her locker since day one. She has a thing about shoes....and socks....and jeans....and ponytails....and crumply papers.....among a slew of other things. She doesn't like the tennis shoes because they are "not beautiful." I too, don't think they are very beautiful, so I can't blame her. We've talked about the situation and she has "promised" me she'll remember that she, in fact, does have gym shoes and socks. Please let me know if the shoes still don't make it to class, I can look into adding sequins or glitter to them, that might help.
Sincerely,
That Mom.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Change '08
Christina the Stylist:
"I almost cried as I cut it, but I didn't want to tell you....
we cut 10" off...it really is cute, you'll love it!"
"I almost cried as I cut it, but I didn't want to tell you....
we cut 10" off...it really is cute, you'll love it!"
**Follow-up to this, I don't love it. I've tried out about 10 different styling options now....and still...it's not great....cute maybe, but not me.....stay tuned for the real me in about 25 months**
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
It's tough being five:
e: today was really exhausting....we did A LOT of voting. We voted on the best season and winter won!
On being "Room Mom":
Not that I needed another thing to do, I am now one of three "Room Moms" for Ella's kindergarten class. Yes, I work 40 hours/week, hold the President's seat of the Non-Profit Board, Chair the fundraising committee, feed, clothe and bath my kids everyday, make a ginormous attempt at keeping my marriage together, attend almost every home party I'm invited to...all while managing some semblance of sanity....did I mention I drive 50+ miles each day??...oh, the sanity, that's a total joke. I'm not sane. Just really busy. Anyhow, last friday was my first shot at this room mom gig...it went well! Thanks to Ms. Elling's hard work and patience with her 5 year-olds, we had 19 little people that did what they were supposed to do when they were supposed to do it and still had loads fun!! ...and best of all I loved being called: "Hey, Ella's mom!"
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