I yelled. Really yelled today. More than once. I'm up for the-worst-mom-of-the-year-award after today (not bad though, considering it's september and I made it 9 months without an official nomination). Ella was trying to reason me into letting her wear flip flops, "I'll just bring them along in my back-pack" and "these shoes make me look like a boy" and "If you don't let me wear my flip-flops, I'll ruin your flowers!" and "but can I just wear them for a minute??"...on and on and on. After 2 hours in the morning and 4 hours in the evening of hearing why flip-flops should be the only shoe in production--I lost it. Totally lost it. "ENOUGH ABOUT THE FLIP-FLOPS!!! SERIOUSLY, STOP. I WILL THROW THEM IN THE GARBAGE IF I HEAR ANOTHER WORD ABOUT FLIP-FLOPS. YOU ARE NOT WEARING THEM TO SCHOOL AND IF YOU KEEP WHINING ABOUT THEM YOU WILL NOT WEAR THEM EVER AGAIN!"
oooooops.
All the while that was happening, Grant was going for the olympic time-out gold medal. Every time I turned around he attacked his sister, full-blown hit/scratch attack. She'd freak...and I mean, freak, like she may as well had just had her foot cut off....with a butter knife. Time-out. 1 minute on the naughty rug (which, for a two year old is an eternity). "Say sorry to your sister for hitting. [yelling, sort of] WE DO NOT HIT!! Hitting makes owies. You hurt Ella." g: "Sowwy Ewwa...."........and, repeat. again and again and again....."sowwwyy. Me nice." [yeah, right-you'll do it again in five minutes] and then! he thought it was funny to eject her DVD mid-scene, which means, since we are the only americans w/o a DVD player and use an old PS2 to watch movies, you need to start over at the beginning every time. Again with the cutting of the foot...three more times. I'm surprised someone didn't call the police, oh but wait, even if they had, they wouldn't have come...."oh, just the albrecht's again, probably mystery carbon monoxide or the little twerp dialed 911--just ignore it."
6:00: OMG, WHERE IS YOUR DADDY?!?! Mommy is about to lose it.
7:00: Daddy calls, going to bar for one beer with John (thanks john, just swell-super great timing)
7:45: Daddy calls, did really only have one beer (good job daddy!), Mommy says, Can you stop at the liquor store, get me 2 bottles of wine and a pack of cigarettes? no joke. it was a really, really long day.
I wonder who I'm up against for my award and what should I wear for my acceptance speech...
ps. my first official day with only one child was lovely from 9-3. As for 6-9am and 3-9pm it was awful.
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7 comments:
Duct tape and handcuffs. Oh wait, no. CALL ME when this happens. Lock yourself in a closet and call me!! Even if we can't DO anything to change the situation, at least you can take yourself out of it for a few moments by talking to me.
Advice from a friend (not me, really): have Ella wrap the flip flops up in a box as a present to herself. She gets to pick the paper, the bow, whatever. Have her put a sticker on one of the faces of the present (you could even draw a box on each face for the sticker). Everyday that she wears her school shoes to school without an arugment or complaint, she gets to put a sticker on another face of the present. Once she has a sticker on every face (that would be all 5 days next week, ideally, plus the first one you put on for good measure), then she gets to open the present and wear her flip flops again (NOT TO SCHOOL, mind you - in the evenings, whatever).
At least that takes away some of the 31 years of guilt that I have thinking I was the "worst mom of the year".
One more thing I forgot to add. Cara you are so lucky to have friends like that to be there for you. They like you are GREAT women!
I may be in the running, I always leave out the yelling parts on my blogs. You should have called me for the wine, I could have drank it with you.
After next Sunday, I will totally have you beat. Hopefully you are available to bring some of those cigs over soon, I'll supply the wine.
I know I AM lucky to have the most awesomist friends! Although they ARE really great moms, they do put these days into perspective and make me feel like I won't be the only one accepting an award.
P.S. When is that ceremony? Perhaps I can tape it on my VCR....
we all have these days. You didn't beat them, right? :)
nope. didn't beat them. BUT I kind of see why some people do... (total j/k, don't call the cops)
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