A few all-time favorites:

Celebrity Recognition

holding up the cover of this month's people magazine:

m: Grant, who's this?
g: BOK-OBAMA!

(m: That's m'boy!)

g: you yike me mommy?
m: grant, I love you.
g: no, you YIKE me mommy?!
m: yes, grant I like you.
g: oh-kay!

sweet thang

g: you pick-a up-a me, mommy?
m: yes...grant, I picked you up today.
g: mama, me miss-a you today.

Stereotypes at 30 months:

g: (with toy vacuum in hand) Me the Mama!

e: mom, what does nickelodeon mean?
m: it's a channel on tv
e: there's a person in mr.nelson's class named nickelodeon
m: no, probably not honey, there are no people named nickelodeon
e: yes....a boy, his first name is "nick" and his last name is "lodeon"
m: (hmmmmmmm)

Got Laundry?

Like I Could handle anything Else.

Monday: Ella has itchy head, hmmm...might just be dry skin.
Wednesday: Ella has bugs, hmmmm....
Look on internet, find what to do. Learn it is NOT ok to douse head in kerosene, move to plan B. Call dad to stop at drug store--instruct to buy entire lice aisle. Call all playdate families from the past week, alert them of the epidemic. Apply lice treatment to both ella and mom since we share a brush....wait 12 minutes, rinse. Apply "nit gel" and comb. Pick out live bugs, try not to vomit. Douse hair with olive oil, cover in shower cap. Strip all beds and couches of all things that can go in washing machine. Spray "bedding spray" to entire house. Find it funny that bedding spray indicates "do not spray on pillows, sheets or clothing"....hmmm...keep spraying. Cram washing machine with infested bedding, hats, mittens, jackets, stuffed animals. Follow with drying cycle. Learn that many hats and mittens were wool and now have mini winter accessories. Look on internet to see if there has been anything forgotten. Learn one mom buzzed her daughter's hair to rid the creatures....hoping that is not our path. Slam glass of wine. Try to sleep, feel bugs everywhere.
Thursday: Call school, talk to nurse. Rinse olive oil. Find a few additional buggers. Go to drug store to buy the "better comb" Follow directions, comb one inch sections of wet hair until all hair is combed and nit free. Try to convince 5 year-old that she should hold still and stare at the toilet so that mom can rid her head of the blood suckers, scare her into holding still by telling her that she'll never go back to Ms. Elling's class unless all the lice are gone. Spray bedding again with the do-not-spray-on-bedding-bedding-spray. Clean house, vacuum, vacuum again, and once more. Bathe daughter, wash hair for last time for next 7 days (learned on internet that lice don't like clean hair) comb hair diligently with nit comb once more.....only find one nit. Slam glass of wine while watching Grey's.

on augmentation:

e: mom, look! my boobies are getting bigger!

Happy New Year!